茶叶小说

迷糊

出差住宾馆， 晚上都12点了 有人敲我门喊“查夜”， 服务员和警察进屋看一眼就走了。到同事那屋照例敲门喊查夜， 同事刚喝完，睡得迷糊了， 眼睛也没睁开问：“什么？” 警察说：“茶叶”同事来一句：“哦，放窗台上吧。”警察说：“什么放窗台上，你给我起来！！！”

坐电梯

一日下班，男友坐电梯下楼，人巨多，好不容易才挤上。电梯运行期间忽然手机响了，他赶忙接听，但信号不好，他对着手机大声说道：“等会儿再打，我在冰箱里！”其他人都猛地打个冷战。

写作业

儿子刚上小学时，我督促他写作业，一开始还算配合，有一天作业多，他受不了了，把作业本一扔说:天天就知道让我写作业，写作业，你怎么不自己写？懒死了！

马大哈

老婆有点马大哈，什么是马大哈呢？这么说吧，就是马马虎虎，粗心大意。她吃饭能噎着，喝水能呛着，走路能把自己绊倒，骑自行车还能撞到墙！最近她说想考驾照，我说:别～咱能别祸害人好吗？

鸡汤

花几个小时炖了香菇虫草花党参红枣枸杞木耳红萝卜土豆……鸡汤，给老公盛一碗，一脸期待的问：好喝吗？里面哪种食材你最喜欢？老公挤出一个笑说：土豆！我疑惑地问：哪里还有土豆？都炖没了！老公点点头。

嫉妒

在挑衣服的时候，旁边的美女拿了好几件衣服准备给男友试穿，心理真的有点嫉妒啊！等到她男友从试衣间出来以后，看着我那茂密的头量，下意识地把头上盖着地中海的发头捋了捋，看样子他是嫉妒了……

稳重一点

明天，是我妈妈的生日（我是单亲家庭），我特意叮嘱男朋友：别像上次一样乱买东西，要稳重一点！男朋友表示这次绝对不会出错，他已经把抢购的东西放在购物车了！我还是不放心，打开他购物车一看，只有一件袈裟

智商

去外面吃饭，老婆上完厕所回来跟我说：餐厅门口有万圣节游戏活动。我：那我们一会儿去玩呗。老婆：都是给小孩子玩的。我：没事，我跟他们说你智商只有三岁！哎哟，别。。。别打脸啊。。。。

发传单

地铁站出口，我看见一个发传单的漂亮妹子，她好像在人群中寻找着什么，于是我便故意从她身旁经过，没想到那位妹子微微一笑立即递给我一张，我当时那个得意劲儿，那么多人不发就发给我，是不是一眼看出我的与众不同？然后我低头看一眼传单内容，最上面印着《肾宝》两个大字……

confused

I was staying in a hotel on a business trip. It was 12 o'clock in the evening. Someone knocked on my door and shouted "Check the night." When I went to my colleague's house, I knocked on the door as usual and called for the night. The colleague just finished drinking and fell into a daze, and asked, "What?" The policeman said, "Tea". "The policeman said: "Put it on the windowsill, get up for me!!!"

Take the elevator

One day after get off work, my boyfriend took the elevator downstairs. There were so many people that he managed to squeeze in. The phone rang suddenly while the elevator was running. He hurried to answer it, but the signal was not good. He said loudly to the phone, "Call later, I'm in the refrigerator!" Everyone else shivered violently.

homework

When my son first started primary school, I urged him to do his homework. He was cooperative at first, but one day he had too much homework. Write? lazy!

careless

My wife is a bit of a mama, what is mama? Let's just say it's so-so and careless. She could choke on food, choke on water, trip herself while walking, and hit a wall on her bike! Recently, she said she wanted to get a driver's license, and I said, "Don't let us stop harming people, okay?"

chicken soup

I spent a few hours stewing mushrooms, cordyceps, flowers, Codonopsis, dates, wolfberry, fungus, carrots and potatoes... Chicken soup, I gave my husband a bowl, and asked expectantly: Is it delicious? Which ingredient is your favorite? Husband squeezed out a smile and said: Potatoes! I wondered: where are the potatoes? It's all boiled! The husband nodded.

envy

When picking clothes, the beauties next to her took several clothes to try on for her boyfriend. She was really jealous! After her boyfriend came out of the fitting room, he looked at my lush hair and subconsciously stroked the Mediterranean hair on his head, it seemed that he was jealous...

Be steady

Tomorrow, it's my mother's birthday (I'm a single-parent family), I specifically told my boyfriend: don't buy things like last time, be more prudent! The boyfriend said that he would never go wrong this time, he had already put the snapped items in the shopping cart! I was still worried, I opened his shopping cart and saw that there was only one cassock

IQ

When I went out to eat, my wife came back from the toilet and told me: There is a Halloween game at the entrance of the restaurant. Me: Then let's go play for a while. Wife: It's all for children to play with. Me: It's okay, I told them that your IQ is only three years old! Ouch, don't. . . Don't slap your face. . . .

send flyer

At the exit of the subway station, I saw a beautiful girl handing out flyers. She seemed to be looking for something in the crowd, so I deliberately passed by her. Unexpectedly, the girl smiled and immediately handed me one. I was so proud at the time Jin'er, so many people send them to me without sending them, do you see my difference at a glance? Then I looked down at the content of the flyer, the words "Shen Bao" were printed on the top...